The holidays always stir the pot a little. Everyone talks about gratitude like it’s a switch
you can flip on, a mood you can summon on demand. But both of us have lived long enough, and held enough human stories, to know it doesn’t quite work that way.
What we’ve noticed is that there’s a big difference between being thankful and being grateful.
Thankfulness is polite. It’s what you say when someone hands you something. It’s external.
Gratitude, though — real gratitude — grows on the inside. It settles into your body. It shows up when time slows down for a few seconds and you realize you’re witnessing something beautiful, even if it’s small.
For both of us, that embodied kind of gratitude tends to arrive during ordinary moments — feeding animals, gazing at the night sky, simply being present with a quiet moment.
That’s the sort of gratitude we’re talking about. Not the “say thank you and be glad it wasn’t worse” version many of us were raised with. Not the gratitude journals filled under pressure.
Not the holiday-season performance where you try to convince yourself everything is fine because it’s supposed to be a “thankful time.”
We are taught politeness. Many of us are taught to be grateful for scraps, for a seat at the table even if we aren’t allowed to participate. Embodied gratitude asks something different — honesty, presence, and the willingness to let yourself feel supported by a moment, however brief.
Finding rituals that cultivate gratitude without forcing it.
Simmer pots have become one of those rituals. Tossing in cinnamon, oranges, cranberries, rosemary, bay leaves — each ingredient carrying some meaning, some intention. Letting the whole house fill with scent and memory and warmth while we quietly acknowledge what each element represents. It’s simple, and it’s deeply grounding.
Gratitude is not a behavior you perform. It’s a sensation that rises naturally when you are present enough to feel it. Sometimes it’s found on a quiet porch at sunset, sometimes under the glow of a constellation, sometimes in the middle of kitchen chaos, and sometimes in the people we choose to share our lives with — the friends who become family.
Wherever you find it this season, may it be real, may it be yours, and may it live in your body long after the holiday decorations come down.
Simmer Pot Ingredients & Meanings
To make a simmer pot, add your ingredients and enough water to cover them to a cooking pot. Bring the ingredients to a boil and then turn the burner temp to low and leave them cooking for 2-4 hours. Check frequently to see if you need to add water. I add my finished simmer pot ingredients to my compost pile (skip this step if you used essential oils vs plant ingredients for some of the spices.)
- Orange slices: Success, happiness, abundance, prosperity
- Cinnamon sticks: Love, prosperity, healing warmth
- Cloves: Protection
- Rosemary: Memory and remembrance
- Apple slices: Wisdom and abundance
- Bay leaves: Success; write intentions or gratitude on them
- Vanilla: Sweetness, comfort, emotional softness
- Cranberries: Embodied gratitude and appreciation